Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
