just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
