When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
