There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You smell like stripper and shame
she smelled like a LAN party
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
