Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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