i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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