There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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