I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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