peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
