a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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