Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
