Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize