friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize