Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
