is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
