hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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