You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
