dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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