Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i think im in europe. pls send help
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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