it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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