It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
