I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I enjoy the company of your penis
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
