You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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