You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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