We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
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You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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