New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
