I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
