She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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