Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
