Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
