I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you win again, gameday.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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