my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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