you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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