i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
