Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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