mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I CAN MOONWALK!
The best revenge is premature balding
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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