covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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