I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
