it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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