I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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