I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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