Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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