I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
