I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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