Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
