a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
