Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
