Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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