dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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