i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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