Operation Purity has been aborted
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
