Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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