when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
