You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
