Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
