forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
