my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
