You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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