I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
