and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
