Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
is that a dick in a sweater?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
